Post by zacharie adrien sébastien on Sept 30, 2008 22:11:55 GMT -5
oh my, zacharie!
what's your name and age, babe?
my name is zacharie adrien sébastien, obviously not a hard name when you think about it. i wish there was something more interesting about my name, but really that's just it. my mother always liked the name adrien, so she demanded that be apart of my name but m father insisted on naming me after some dead guy i don't even remember why he was famous... but, apparently, my father was like in love with him and zacharie was going to be my name even if i was a girl. my father can be a tad stubborn, i know. but the thing is that nobody calls me by my full name... ever, so you can just call me zac or zach or whatever you want like the rest of the population. as for how old i am, i have just recently turned twenty-one years. amazing, isn't it?
i like mysterious people. you got any secrets?
well see it all started because i am a complete idiot, oh and why not through in a jackass while we're talking about it. but maybe i should start at the beginning to confuse those who don't know, right? yeah, that makes sense. so it all started with my brother and his very own sexual preferrence. he "chose" to like boys rather than girls and my father definitely didn't like that when he found out, so bye-bye went my bigger brother. it turns out, a couple years down the road i figure out that i like boys as well. but to give me some credit to my father, i also liked girls as well. knowing that he wouldn't understand that, i kept it all very much a secret because i, for some reason, still loved my father despite what an asshole he could be. this whole secret thing worked very well as i didn't have any boys relatively attractive to tempt me... that is until i met jérémie devereaux.
jem had always been attractive, and i don't know why i hadn't realized it earlier, but it really hit me a few years back. not only was he attractive, but he also intrigued me. we eventually ended up going out, of course, and he was pissed that i didn't want to go public with him. it was sort of my secret why i wanted to stay "in the closet," so it also probably annoyed him i never gave him a straight answer for why i wanted to. but thank god, a bad fight never broke out because of it and he respected the decision even if it annoyed him. but i loved him, i swear i did. hell, i still love him now but... well, i'm getting to that. i just wasn't ready for what my dad what say, what other's might say. i know that's a bad thing to say, especially when i love jem so much but... i'm a coward, i'll admit it. i introduced him as "a friend" to everyone i knew, including my parents. see how much of a coward i am? i don't even know how he put up with me...
then came the fake relationship idea. i don't even know how i got the bright idea, but i thought people might get a bit suspicious... i usually had a girlfriend tagging along with me, cuddling up to me and such, especially back in my high school days. my mother had recently been questioning me about it around that time and i panicked and decided i needed a cover up. jem said it was cool, and i knew just the girl that seemed interested in me from the "subtle" hints she had been dropping. although i had planned on telling her she was a cover up, i never did because i just didn't have the guts. so she thought that i was dating her for real, jem thought i wasn't and was really dating him. you could say i was being a player, and i'd agree with you... especially because i had promised not to do anything sexual with her and i did anyways.
here's where the big part of the secret comes in, the thing that makes me the biggest asshole in the world. my "girlfriend" is pregnant with my baby. yes, i know, a fucking baby. i don't even want to think about it really, but i guess i kind of have to. i don't want to be an idiotic, dead beat dad but i don't even love her... i love jem, and jem is beyond pissed at me. i've apologized a thousand times over, sent him flowers to try and be all cliché like but it didn't work. i still love him, and i know deep down somewhere he loves me still too. i understand he probably doesn't trust me, but i want to show him so badly that it was a stupid mistake. i never, ever wanted to hurt him.
you think you look
me? hot? well, i guess. i've never really categorized myself like that, and my friends have always told me i'm a bit too hard on myself but whatever. i don't see the attractiveness in myself, plain and simple. but i'll guess i'll tell you how i look and you can figure out if you're attracted to me or not, makes it easier on me to not put on some fake air of confidence that will later be thought of as a lie when you really get to know me. the first thing that i should probably tell you, as you will probably notice, is that i'm a tall, skinny white kid. amazing, isn't it? i've reached the height of about five eleven with only one hundred and twenty-nine pounds to my name. underweight? definitely, but no matter what i eat i never gain weight and i've just simply given up on the fact. girls would kill for what i have, as my female friends have told me, especially my hips. i don't know where they get this stuff, as anorexic-looking people have never really been the hottest. they're all bony and disgusting, aren't they? trust me, i would know, as i'm all bony. i have brown eyes and brown hair, rather simple but then again my overall appearance is simply. my hair's usually about short to medium length and has never been dyed, which may shock some of you kids that dye your have five thousand times over the course of the year, sometimes more than three colors at a time. i find that a horribly unattractive, but it's not to say i wouldn't be your friend.... i just wouldn't tell youa bout it. oh, and as far as my face goes i look about ten times less than i really should look. for some reason, people can't believe i'm twenty-one but i am, damnnit! i just have... feminine looks. as far as my style goes, it's usually v-necks and tight jeans with some shoes. i'm afraid to say i'm rather simple, sorry.
got any distinguishing features?
although i have no piercings, facial or non-facial, i do have some tattoos. "mad as a hatter" and "thin as a dime" are written on my right and left wrists and i also have what some people call "cult tattoos" on the back of my upper arms. as for distinguishing features that weren't made by ink, i have this scar on my knee from when i crashed my bike and fell down a hill and then a cut on my hand from slitting my hand on a jagged piece of metal when i was playing when i was a little kid. accident prone? but of course.
who do people say you look like?
i've heard people tell me i look like that one famous musician, ryan ross. you know, the one from that band with pete wentz yadda yadda yadda? i knew you'd get it. but anyways, i hardly see the resemblence at all. besides, he lives in las vegas, doesn't he? that's in a different country, so it's not like that's even possible.
what words describe you? maybe because opposites attract, y'know.
i've been told that i am a sweetheart, and i guess that's true. i honestly couldn't hurt a fly, and i know that's a cliché way of saying that i'm nice but that's actually the truth. and when i do hurt somebody, i regret it and beat myself up over it until i become totally depressed about the whole thing. is that a bad thing? yes, but i've always been hard on myself, remember? i've always been there for family and friends and i'm definitely a shoulder to cry on and a secret keeper, so don't be afraid to tell me anything. even if i'm a somewhat lying, cheating jerk because of what i did to jem, i'm definitely not a person who would puprosely hurt you by blabbing your secrets, especially when i have a secret so big as well. i guess it ties in with the whole 'artist/musician' thing, but i'm not exactly the loudest person when it comes to strangers. i keep to myself, usually sketching or playing around with my guitar while people watching. people watching has always been fun, and sure it sounds stalkerish but you have to try it before you knock it. get me around friends, though... and i'm a partier, a wild child... whatever you want to call it. i can be as loud as i want to be and usually am, which surprises most people but i don't really care. i'm flirty as well, despite my lack of confidence in my looks, and i suppose that's what got me in trouble with both my 'girlfriend' and jem, hell i know it was. people tell me i tend to get a bit possesive about relationships and can be known to freak out when things aren't under control, probably some unknown ocd disorder or something, but i don't really see it. there you have it, my personality according to what i know. you can judge me otherwise, of course.
habits can be kind of funny, don't you think?
i hum songs that i listen to on my truck's old radio when there is nothing but silence to fill. i'm a bad liar so i always bite my lip when i'm telling somebody the false truth. i don't know how people haven't caught on yet, but then again i should be thankful, shouldn't i? i'm filled with random, useless facts about musicians, music and other random knowledge and sometimes blurt it out at random intervals/times. i'm also a bit possesive, as i've told you, if you can call that a quirk.
what're some of your likes and dislikes?
most of my hates are personality traits, i guess you could say. such as i hate absolute bitches and slutty girls, people who think they're like god or whatever... complete idiots, et cetera. but there are a few things that bug me as well, such as heights, snakes, television, most fan girls about certain bands, big empty houses...my father. i really can't name them off the top of my head, but once i find out it bugs me i know it does and i hate it... did that even make sense? as for my likes, it's the same thing as dislikes... if i like it i know i like it, so i don't really tend to list those things out. i do like cuddling and affection... flirting... music, the arts and i'm a definite movie junkie. old record covers are also something that i like, as i have a whole wall in the bedroom of my apartment adorned with it. i love animals, as i have a dog named geneviéve, also known as gen.
you've got some weaknesses? you shouldn't tell me, i'll use it against you. you've got strengths, too?
my weaknesses would have to be the fact i'm possesive over my boyfriends because i'm scared they'll leave me out of some weird self image thing. i also tend to be a bit too flirtatious, which can of course lead to things such as his boyfriends being pissed at him, imagine that. i'm a sucker for romance and physical forms of affection, but i think you can gather that from my flirting. i'm a big softie too, which most people tend to take advantage of. i'm also extremely stubborn and i have a tendency to be a little pissy and through a bitch fit, but who doesn't? i could probably go on for a while, but you don't want that, eh?
as for my strengths, i'd like to say that being so nice allows me to make friends easier and earn people's trust. i'm talented in the arts and i'd say i am smart in general. i'm patient and understanding as well, but i don't want to sound like i'm bragging too much or anything. why don't you figure that out for yourself?
what are the main points of your lifetime?
i was born to a man and a woman, of course, by the names of cécile and jérome sébastian, where is where my surname comes from. i know you were all shocked about that one. i grew up with not a priviledged life, but a very good one. my father was a police officer for some time, retiring just after i had left the house and my mother was a stay at home mom, taking care of her children. there were five of us; my oldest brother matthieu, my twin little sisters aimée and amélie, and the youngest, my brother isaac. as you can very well guess, i was the middle child so i was neither the focus of the family nor the spoiled little baby. i was just coasting along through life, making friends through my education, getting the girls when i was younger and living life. i would drink, but it was never that big of a deal here as people in the united states have had it, so i never really got in trouble. by the time i was a junior in high school my brother was about to graduate when he came out and my father kicked him out, disowning him. that scared me enough as it is, as i had never really realized how much of a temper my father had... turns out i got his temper as well, as i later found out. a couple years down the road i realized i was bi and kept it a secret, then i met the boy i fell in love with and you know the story. soon enough i was a dad before i had even hit the young age of twenty-one. now that i'm that age, it still doesn't even make a difference... i'm scared and frustrated and god knows what else, but i'm trying to hide all that. after all, i have no right to be as this is all my unbelievably stupid fault.
the worst point of your life must have sucked, yeah?
if this isn't the most obvious question here, i don't know what is. the time that my "girlfriend" told me that i was going to be a father because she was pregnant. well, that ties in with the time that he broke up with me too, so it's more like a two-in-one kind of shitty expierance? what sucks is knowing i have to fix this mess i created and i have no clue how.
but i guess the best time made up for it? it always does.
i'd have to say, being the cliché man that i am, that the day i met him was on the top ten best things to happen to me.... realizing he loved me was probably the best thing, though. he's probably the only thing good in my life and, lucky me, i know just how to fuck that up.
hi, i'm
i've become
what a mother wouldn't want in a son
and i have done a few things i regret
but practice makes perfect
practice makes perfect sense to me
- - - - - - -
ever since he was a little boy kyler's favorite season had been winter. living on the east coast he'd almost always seen snow every winter and loved the white frozen rain much more than the hot blistering sun of summer. in fact, his first memory, or one of the first, was him running around out in the snow with his mother and father. he remembered his father and mother starting a mini snowball fight in their front yard and then his mother and him making a snowman along with little snow angels. at the end of the day they would all come back inside and his father would read him a story and they would drink hot chocolate. it was all cliche in a way but kyler couldn't help but cling to the memory. he wouldn't tell anybody that, of course, he was supposed to hate his father, and he did most of the time.. but when those memories came out the little boy in kyler came out as well and he missed his father, the father that loved his mother and read his first born son stories.
this was the first thought that popped into his head as he woke up, groggy and rubbing his eyes, and looked out of his bedroom window. the snow wasn't coming down hard or anything, but you could just see the fluffy-like flakes falling down onto a busy new york street, some of it sticking while others just melted instantly. a soft grin formed on his features when he saw this before he heard his roommates start bitching again and he frowned, remembering the reason he had woken up in the first place. although it had been nice moving out of his mom's apartment and away from the crying and depression the house carried but the privacy he had back in the old apartment had been great. here, his roommates were loud and obnoxious and had no respect for a person who was sleeping in the room next to him. don't get him wrong, his roommates were some of his best friends and bandmates but... they could honestly learn a lesson in how to be curteous to others.
a sigh escaped his lips and rubbed his eyes again. "guess it's time to wake up," he grumbled to himself, standing up and allowing the blankets and sheets to fall off his body and half onto the bed, half onto the floor and reveal his pale bare chest and plaid boxers (yes, he was so stylish). kyler didn't bother to adjust it or even try to make up the bed, his room was always in varying degrees of disaster zone. clothes piled everywhere, posters put up all over the place along with random pictures, a british flag thrown over the other window in his room as a makeshift curtain. shaking his black hair out of his face he looked around the room before he grabbed some clothes and started for the hallway. opening the door, he was greated with his roomates' noise at a louder level and he grouned. what the hell were they doing? not bothering to go and check, he turned around and headed for the bathroom, closing the door and locking it. next he turned on the water of the shower and stripped out of his boxers before sliding into the warm spray of the water.
after his shower he decided it was time that he got dressed because, well, going around naked in the middle of winter had never really been socially acceptable, even in new york where everyone was crazy. his attire was nothing special, though, a pair of tight black skinny jeans with a white avenged sevenfold t-shirt, some black slip on vans that he'd doodled on with a silver metallic sharpie and a black jacket to keep him warm on the way to... wherever his destination was. next he blow-dryed and flat-ironed his hair along with make-up around his pretty blue eyes and he was finally ready to go out. "the question is where," he muttered to his reflection at the thought, frowning at it before he turned around to pick up all his dirty laundry and dump it in the hamper. he'd clean his clothes later because god knows it wouldn't get done otherwise. he was surprised that the other guys even had anything to wear with the amount of dirty laundry everywhere, but it's not like he was going to wash their clothes, they only wished he would.
still not knowing where he was going, he just decided that he'd walk around new york city until he thought of something or somebody called him with something to do. he had enough friends, he was sure to have one of them call him eventually, right? right. but, of course, since he was going to be walking around he remembered that he should bring his ipod and once he got on the streets outside of his apartment, he pushed in his earpieces and turned on the ipod at a loud volume. nothing like going deaf early on in your adult years, right? that was definitely what he planned on doing.... well, not planned, more like he knew it was going to happen because he liked loud things.
it had been at least half an hour of walking when he finally happened upon central park and he grinned. the snow was falling down a bit thicker now and sticking even more, but he really didn't mind the fact that his hair was getting covered in white stuff like he had dandruff. why? well, just as he was walking by the park he saw something pink. and not just any old shade of pink, either, it was a very bright shade of pink sticking out like a sore thumb through the dull colors of the park and the white color of the snow. he knew only one girl who would sit underneath a bunch of trees on a park bench in the park on a snowy day, especially with that color of hair. "madisyn," he said to himself, still smiling. stopping in his tracks, he changed directions so that he was walking towards the girl. fuck having his friends call him now, he had found one of his best friends and he was sure that she had somthing he could do or at least she could entertain him.
once under cover of the two trees she was sitting under, he shook the snow out of his hair and slid down into a seat next to her. "hey syn baby, what's cookin'?" he questioned, wiggling his eyebrows as a joke as he looked over at her. looking down at what she was doing he grinned and chuckled to himself. of course madisyn would be sitting out here in the snow coloring in a spongebob coloring book, he should have known. "how many times have i told you that you need to get a batman one? at least ten, right?"
status, finished
words, 1162 words without codes
tagged, madisyn mitchell
notes, faill, but finished. =D
