desmarais, caïn valentin.

[caïn valentin desmarais]

oh my, caïn!

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what's your name and age, babe?

caïn valentin desmarais. quite honestly, i love it. it's like caine from the bible - or spear, i think it means - but...better. apparently, it's a name that can be used to mock people, but it's hot on me. valentin, in latin, means valiant, though i don't think that's wh my parents picked it. my surname was obviously not something that my parents chose, but desmarais means "lives by the marsh." i'm also twenty-one years old.

i like mysterious people. you got any secrets?

well i guess it doesn't matter so much anymore - it was four years ago. i ran away when i was seventeen. the reason? i don't know exactly. i was just so bored with my life. i hated being just that typical popular, mysterious kid. it seems fantastic from the outside, but it's really just a drag on the inside. i was sick of my parents' pampering attitude. there wasn't much of a problem, though. i took some cash, got enrolled in a boarding school and started over in a new city. tgv tickets don't cost very much, by the way, if you're wondering how i got to lyon from marseilles. it was kind of hard at first - i didn't have too much money, i had to work multiple jobs at once (still do, by the way), and i was just kind of down. it felt better, though. it was funny to know that my parents were back in marseilles fussing over where i was - them and my girlfriend, too. i had been dating this girl. she was the popular one, the "lucky" one. dating me? quite a prize. oh, and that guy i was fucking around with. she was clingy, he was fun. they were both...uh, "good -" if you know what i mean.

everything was working pretty well for me until i started my junior year at the university. they were both there. not in front of me, but they were there. i'm just avoiding them now on account of the fact that i really don't want them to find me. oddly enough, i'm pretty sure they were dating. that really, really pissed me off. she probably didn't know about him and i back in the day, but still! i'm so fucking mad. luckily, they broke up. i just kind of smirked and went on, but whenever i see either of them i freak out and walk away as quick as i can in fear that perhaps one of them will see me somewhere. no no no no no. and then! oh yeah, this will freak you out. one time i was at a party and i got really, really drunk. i really didn't know who was who and what i was doing. there he was. and i went up to him. and we ended up sleeping together. i'm a whore, i know, shut it. i really didn't notice that it was him until the next morning - i was really drunk, mind you - and after puking in the bathroom, i walked back in, gathered my clothes, noticed it was him, and i bolted. also? pretty sure i saw her (she's pretty distinctive) when we were going somewhere "private." so yeah, now i'm really freaked out. what if he did know it was me? yeah, i'm really, really, really scared now. i'm just so freaked out if they find me. fuck.

you think you looks pretty hot, huh?

i think i'm hot? everyone knows i'm hot. i've got this interesting hair cut, brown, musty colored hair...so that part isn't all that great. i think it's the way i'm so tall and just kind of brooding that attracts people. i'm, i don't know, six foot - six foot one? i have really lanky, long legs. i also look very italian, because of my mother, and that seems to be considerably attractive. my skin's pretty dark (naturally tanned?) overall, i'm a beast. 'nuff said. oh yes, and stylewise i'm pretty sharp as well. jeans, v-necks, converse, scarves, and a billion pairs of aviators (you know i look sexy in them, babe.) that's mostly all about my sexy face and bod and style.

got any distinguishing features?

i have a few tattoos, but i don't always remember them all. nothing big.

who do people say you look like?

i've heard i look like the dude, alessandro de marco, and assuming he's hot - i'll take it as a compliment. thank you very much. plus, boy's gotta be hot if he looks like me, no?

what words describe you? maybe because opposites attract, y'know.

i'm just...great. i'll start by admitting i'm quite cocky. i've heard it too many times to deny it, but i think i have reason to be - i'm amazing, after all. i'm caring too, though, even if that's something people wouldn't ever think i was. i really am a great listener, i take things to heart when people say them, and i try to advise people as best i can on things. the only thing i don't care about? things that involve me. i'm one of those people who prefers to be an onlooker to drama, not the one involved in it. that's why i hate my secret so much. i'm pretty crazy. i will do anything at all. i'm a dare devil. i'm pretty deep, philosophical - odd, yeah? i'm a poet, though, so it kind of makes sense. i'm kind of mysterious - i don't really reveal much about myself upon meeting a person. opinionated - really, i am. i have a big mouth and i'll say anything that i think needs to be said.

habits can be kind of funny, don't you think?

let me think, what about me is quirky? i lick my lips constantly due to the fact that i bite them whenever i'm bored, nervous, or lying. i get kind considerably agitated when people touch me without notice - even though i'm kind of a touchy person - i hate it. it really annoys me. i hate being disturbed with a passion. i have to brush my teeth in the morning or i won't talk. i don't think there's ever been a person who i find attractive that i haven't hit on. i can deal with animal fur. i say 'achoo' when i sneeze.

what're some of your likes and dislikes?

mm, let's see...i like words. literature. poetry, especially. i like music, because it's just words with a melody. i like beautiful things - faces, especially. i love details. i love sex. i also enjoy shopping - call me girly, i don't give a shit. i like to party. i enjoy my classes, even though the homework is shit. i like writing just about anything. i like coming up with random things and writing them down on a napkin all of the sudden. i like spontaneous things. i like listening. i like knowing - everything and anything about a person, a place, a thing, a phrase, an anything. i love to know. i like to people i can play around with mentally. i like being in control. i like craaaazy people.

i hate, hate, hate being rejected by people. i hate not being able to talk. i hate when i feel like i'm out of like. i really hate when i am put in to weird situations - secrets. i hate secrets, my secrets at least, with an undying passion. i hate when people challenge my intellect - or rather, i hate when they challenge what i say in a stupid manner. i hate being let down. i hate trashy people. i hate being alone in my bed. i hate creaky noises. i hate being alone when i don't want to be alone. i hate the lonely feeling of a big house. i hate getting attitude from people. i hate a lot of things about people. i hate animal fur. i dislike parents and authority figures (except for my teachers.) i dislike anything "fake."

you've got some weaknesses? you shouldn't tell me, i'll use it against you. you've got strengths, too?

babe, i have no weaknesses. there's a few that only some people know about if you know what i mean...i'm totally pathetic when it comes to my own feelings. i can deal with them at all. i don't want to think about my own drama ever. i have to think about other things as quick as i possibly can. i hate the idea of being in love. that's why i whore myself around when i actually fall for someone. i'm not professional in any way and i've really got to start up with that before i graduate - quite honestly, i have no idea how i have been taken so seriously over the years. i'm a sucker for sincere smiles, too. as for my strengths, i'm good with anything sexual, putting my words together (i also never get tongue-tied,) i'm really good at playing with people, and i'm pretty fun.

what are the main points of your lifetime?

it started with claudia de rossi and claude desmarais. they had sex. i popped out. simple as that, or not really...but yeah. i grew up pampered and loved. i grew up popular and that brooding, hot guy that everyone wanted. i was just the lucky, wanted one. it got boring. it got horribly boring. i had a girlfriend. she was like a trophy wife, but a girlfriend. i don't know - it just made sense, she and i. i was the prize and she was the winner. i did not find her particularly amusing - kind of ditzy, but very hot. i was pretty much using her, but being me it wasn't visible. i was pretending to be the sexy romantic type - i kind of am, but it would only ever show if i really liked a person. i didn't break heart, though. i didn't wreck her reputation, i just continued my life behind her back. i met this boy, he was really hot, and we started having one of those "secret affair" type things. it was kind of just fun and thrilling, but it didn't amount to anything. i really liked him eventually, but by that time i knew i was going. going, you ask? well, i had decided that i was going to run away. i was going to take some cash, get a few jobs, and get lost. that's exactly was i did, too. i packed my clothing in a suitcase, arranged to room with a cousin off in lyon, got the soonest tgv ticket, got some money, and left. it was great, really. i got a few jobs once i got there, enrolled in my senior year of highschool. i then went off to the university and continued living with my cousin until those billion jobs i had kind of paid off and my wad of cash was sustained. now it's all chill...i think. i'm just living a nice life. simple, quaint.

the worst point of your life must have sucked, yeah?

eh, i don't know. maybe any guilt i felt when i left? it's not exactly a memory, but it's the worst part of my life. sometimes i get that gut wrenching feeling that kills me - like i've lost something really important. it hurts, but then i find new things that really help me out in that - parties, schools, other nice thoughts that just help.

but i guess the best time made up for it? it always does.

ah, my first paycheck when i got over here in lyon. it made me feel successful and put together. it's a really nice feeling and i can't deny it - money makes me feel really good. i'm shallow, sure, but i don't give one what anyone else thinks.

i am rosie. i made you. thanks.